Unable to help

Unfortunately

One child

Lost

System unable

To help.

Parent

Too wrapped

In their

Own Grief

Own pain

Unable

Unable

Unable

Parenting

Optional

Personal

Choice

For some

 

For me

Parenting not an option

Parenting has to be done

I am parent first

Self after

At my expense,

Sometimes.

My grief delayed

My life temporarily on hold

To deal with and help

Child of my womb

 

Why are some others

Not like this?

I cannot be any different

I do not understand

How your own flesh and blood

Your own child you birthed

Your own child you nursed, fed, bathed and cuddled

How your own child has less needs than you.

 

We all have times of hardship

We all have times of trouble

And sometimes we need to be wrapped up

Our own little bubble to deal

 

But from this exclusion we must appear

We must help our child through it too

Their troubles, when our troubles are mountains

Their troubles are mountains too.

 

 

 

This poem is about an extreme example of a family suffering from a life where any resilience was so long ago removed.  It is about how a parent must first recover before helping the child.  Intellectually I know you have to help yourself first, but what happens when you take so long to help yourself (because you really do need that time) that the child has no chance to heal?