As a graduating uni student
I, of course, wrote quite a few
I got very good at them
And shouting my own trumpet.
I found a glass of wine would help
But certainly not over two.
Roll through the years
And roll on some more
And imagine an aspiring teacher
The first application I did submit
My principal, he did a flip
“What is this thing that you have done?”
“I do not recognise the style.”
“Where are your selection criteria?”
It appears my days of excelling
At the job application where done.
A few years later
My casual persuit of a higher job
I serious up and write to the selection criteria.
“Yes but how did you do that?”
“Why did you do that?”
“Break it down into bits.”
My protests fell on deaf ears and the applications piled up in the bin
Then one day, I got a short listing
Sigh and grin Selection Criteria Win!
So just imagine my dismay
When I go to apply to a job today
And opening up my selection criteria
Update a little then read the ad.
“Suitability statement is required”
What the F….