Writing job applications

As a graduating uni student

I, of course, wrote quite a few

I got very good at them

And shouting my own trumpet.

I found a glass of wine would help

But certainly not over two.

Roll through the years

And roll on some more

And imagine an aspiring teacher

The first application I did submit

My principal, he did a flip

“What is this thing that you have done?”

“I do not recognise the style.”

“Where are your selection criteria?”

It appears my days of excelling

At the job application where done.

A few years later

My casual persuit of a higher job

I serious up and write to the selection criteria.

“Yes but how did you do that?”

“Why did you do that?”

“Break it down into bits.”

My protests fell on deaf ears and the applications piled up in the bin

Then one day, I got a short listing

Sigh and grin Selection Criteria Win!

So just imagine my dismay

When I go to apply to a job today

And opening up my selection criteria

Update a little then read the ad.

“Suitability statement is required”

What the F….