Tears Falling

The tears fall in brief gushes

Blurring my vision

The thoughts reluctantly surface

I don’t want to think

The questions storm in fast-flowing eddies

I write instead of getting balancing sleep.

Why are my hormones playing up like a teenager’s

Why can I not hold onto a babe?

What has happened since the birth of my first child

That’s made me this terrible imbalanced such that I cannot carry a babe.

I got the new haircut

I got the new clothes

I got rid of the junk from my life

Isn’t all that meant to make you feel better

Isn’t all that the way to get the results you are after

According to the guru’s that is so.

Declutter your life,

Give yourself a change

Gamble a bit

Get happy again

Then things will fall

Into your happy place,

Good energy will start to flow

Bullshit I say

What crap are you talking

I’ve done all that and here I am

At 4am on a summer’s morning

Tears falling in short bursts down a tired, wet face.