The tears fall in brief gushes
Blurring my vision
The thoughts reluctantly surface
I don’t want to think
The questions storm in fast-flowing eddies
I write instead of getting balancing sleep.
Why are my hormones playing up like a teenager’s
Why can I not hold onto a babe?
What has happened since the birth of my first child
That’s made me this terrible imbalanced such that I cannot carry a babe.
I got the new haircut
I got the new clothes
I got rid of the junk from my life
Isn’t all that meant to make you feel better
Isn’t all that the way to get the results you are after
According to the guru’s that is so.
Declutter your life,
Give yourself a change
Gamble a bit
Get happy again
Then things will fall
Into your happy place,
Good energy will start to flow
Bullshit I say
What crap are you talking
I’ve done all that and here I am
At 4am on a summer’s morning
Tears falling in short bursts down a tired, wet face.